Pitch Black - Part 5


Chapter 4

My family tried their best to comfort me and stay with me but I need to be alone, I need time to get used to the feeling. I need to realise that the next time I press play on my speakers might be never. I spend time just reading and trying to learn sign language. This is my life now. I haven’t gone to school for three months. I don’t think I can face it. The endless corridors of noise that I can’t hear. The endless lectures that I can’t hear. The patronising instructions that, guess what? I can’t hear.
I know I won't be able to bear people talking at me as though nothing had changed, that or people mouthing so slowly that I might've been dumb rather than deaf. But I do know the day will come at some point. And I want to be ready; I want to be able to walk through the corridors with my head held high, not being treated like an invalid. Because I’m not.  

The next day my package came. It was a package of books on sign language, all in colour, all simple, all going to help me on my journey. But this wasn't a journey I could take on my own. I sat with my family and we learnt it together, whenever we could. In a month we could sign-chat around the house and understand each other. That was when I decided I wanted to start school again. I had laboured over sign language books for months and now I knew enough to talk. I knew enough to begin interacting with the world again, I was going to school. Obviously I had to revise and learn a lot of lessons that I had missed (three months worth...) but when my mum contacted the school they agreed to print of a summary of the term for me. To help me with all my catching up. To help me along my journey to my new life. Baby steps was my mums favourite sign phrase, mine too.  It made me think that even the smallest things I did were helping the bigger picture.

I spent as much time as possible on my school work. Put my head down and went through everything I had missed so I wasnt too far behind the rest of my class. I typed up the most important areas and stuck them into my exercise books so I could revise them quickly. This process was on repeat until I was as caught up as I was ever going to be. We alerted the school to my return and I knew it was time. My baby steps had caught me up with most people’s leaps and bounds, not quite to the same extent as others but nevertheless still caught up.

Coming to school tomorrow! You better be ready for me! :) was the text message I sent to Sam, his reply kept me smiling through all my nerves – “there’ll be a marching band and fireworks. So excited for you!!! :D”

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  1. Awwww... just stay strong. i enjoyed reading this


  2. I'm sorry if I confused you but this is just fiction? Thanks for the feedback anyway though! 💗